blurred,chaotic,messy,unsettled,obscured

"Goals"

It's been a long time since I blogged. I seem to have lost it because there doesn't seem to be anything making me wonder these days. I go to office come back home. Catch up with friends over the weekend and that's it. Isn't there anything happening anywhere or is it just me ? Why do I feel like I am sailing away in no particular direction ? Why don't I seem to have any goal in life ? I used to have goals in life. I used to say I am going to do this by this time. It used to feel like there is nothing else to life but that. But once I was done with what I set out to do , there was a sense of emptiness taking over me. Ofcourse there used to be the joy of accomplishment. but that was momentary. Once that wore off it was back to routine. Back to directionless sailing that I talked about. Is it worth the effort ? the momentary joy of having done something ? It's been quite a while since I really thought of doing anything with my whole heart. I seem to be doing just fine. There hasn't been anything missing from my life, yet I have a weird feeling it isn't normal. But how do I determine what's normal ? It's from what I see everyday. My peers define what's normal and what isn't and when I see them running the rat race that life's become , I feel I am not normal. I feel I want the zillion rupee job. I feel I want the MBA degree from the most coveted institute. I feel I want the ferrari with the engine that schumi will be driving for few more races. I feel I want the beach house in the carribean. I feel I want a private gulf stream IV. Do I really feel all that if I take out the "peer" factor ? and so I keep sailing away directionless.....

posted by Pramod @ 10:40 PM